Head-First
So that you will know, once the TSA throws me into the Federal Terrorist Prison, I wanted to explain why it's inevitable that one of these days I'm going to be pulled off of a plane as a security risk.
You see, as part of the requisite safety instructions before the flight, the attendants are required to explain what to do in the event of a water evacuation. Safety vests under seats, blow into the tubes to inflate, nearest exit may be behind you, etc. But then, they always say that one line. "To exit the plane, jump on to the exit slides feet first." And inevitably, every single time, I start laughing.
Because I picture some poor dude, stuck in a plane that's crash-landed in the water, throwing his arms out and leaping head-first into a dive out of the plane, shouting "Wheee!"
When they do catch me cackling during some poor flight attendant's description of a horrible watery plane crash, I hope you'll forward them this post as explanation.
Comments
My favourite -- thought I can't find it now -- is the one about "...wave your hands in the air, like you just don't care!" I've giggled at the thought of it more than once during the safety demo.
Now I figure it's just safer to ignore the demo altogether. Hey, I've survived one plane crash, I can survive another.
(And suddenly, a bit just flipped in a database somewhere, relegating me to the no fly list.)