NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED

People always be messin' with me, and just keep pushing and pushing and not taking it seriously that I will mess you up! Well, now you've done it. Ladies and gentlemen, please witness BEAT IT 2008 WITH FERGIE.

That's the name of this song! BEAT IT 2008 WITH FERGIE. It's not "Beat It (2008 Remix featuring Fergie)" or "Beat It (Completely Beaten Mix with Fergie)". It's all right there, 2008 With Fergie.And my hope for the new year had been 2008 With No Fergie.

I had mentioned that they were doing a 25-anniversary re-release of the album in my last post on the subject, and sure, one expects the requisite Kanye West remix of Billie Jean, but who knew that things would get this dire? I did. I knew. And now I have to share my pain with you.

I will spare you all the reasons Fergie is horrible. It's not just the man-hands or the meth problem or the (admitted!) incontinence on stage or the fact that she turned what had formerly been at least a semi-credible hip hop group into a laughing stock. It's not merely her stint in Wild Orchid. There are so many things wrong with Fergie. But the latest indignity is that she's completely excised any trace of Eddie Van Halen from Beat It, and for what. For what?

(Update: That's not actually true. Eddie is still in there. I just hadn't been able to listen far enough along to hear his guitar solo.)

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right.